Friday, April 11, 2014

Seriously.....I hope to be better!!!

Oh my stars!!! I haven't posted anything on here for so long - lots of reasons why, but maybe after posting today I will get back into the swing of things!! Our lives have been topsy turvy for the past 3 years. My sweet Momma was so sick and passed away in 2012. The lowest point I have ever been in my life. I know that this is a club that alot of folks belong to, but I would rather not have joined!! It seems that I didn't have a chance to grieve her - or maybe I didn't let myself grieve, I don't know. Daily it seems I get teary anymore thinking of her and not being here for me to talk to her. I know, I know, she is always with me - but I really, really need her more than I have ever let on and the fact that she is "with me", does little to nothing in the comfort zone for me. Does that make sense? Probably not, but it's the best I can do for now!! After she passed away, our son was sent to Afghanistan for 8 months or so. He is a Marine - we are so proud of him!! It was so hard not to see him or talk to him during that time. Sure there were sporadic phone calls and pictures we could see of him and his fellow Marines on Facebook, but a Mom just has to touch her son for it to be all safe for us all!! He finally got back and got to come home for about 3 weeks to visit. Unfortunately - or rather fortunately for alot of reasons, my father-in-law had gotten sick during the last 3 months of 2012 and passed away Christmas morning while our son was home. It really was a blessing that he was home - it helped my husband tremendously with his sanity to have our son at his side during the loss of his Dad. My mother-in-law had passed about 8 years earlier and my husbands brother died in 1976 so he was the only child left. With my Momma passing a short 9 months earlier, our son in Afghanistan and then my father-in-law passing - it was a pretty crappy 2012!! We vowed that 2013 would be better but that entire year was a struggle as well. Slowly we may be coming out of the gray, but it seems like it has taken forever to slice through the grief and turmoil brought on by it all! Everything is looking up for us so far......our son is out of the Marine Corps as of December of last year!!! He is back living at home with us while attending college. I am blessed to be able to talk with him daily and get hugs and kisses that I have sorely missed!! He is our only child so he gets all of our attention - whether he likes it or not!! He is my heart and soul so just having him with me has started to help me mend my heart over losing my Mom. That's all for today - I feel a bit better, but still the tears are just flowing down my cheeks this moment!! Thanks for listening!! Robin